spoofing games

Spoofing Conventions

spoofing tuesday

The traditional implementation of Spoofing, as viewed by the Bangkok School of Gentlemen Spoofers is reproduced below. There are other types of spoofing which will be detailed later.

For the virgin spoofer, the game is played thus. Assemble 4 or more gentlemen, optimum number is 6-7, maximum 9. Locate the 'school' in a bar with a plentiful supply of beers, wines, & spirits (food is optional & consumption subject to rules). Elect a chairman or spoofmaster to oversee proceedings & make judgments on rules, fines, and unruly spoofers.

Each of the Gentlemen must equip himself with 3 coins of equal size. The chairman will call the school to order, "When the hands are out!" A cocktail stick is tossed to determine who will call first. This is the signal for the spoofers to cunningly put either 3-2-1 or no coins in his hand, clench his fist & hold his arm out straight into the circle of fellow gentlemen spoofers.

The gentlemen calling first (via cocktail stick determination) makes his call. He will estimate, using his skill and judgement, the total number of coins held by the school. For example in a school of six spoofers, the maximum call is 18, the minimum 0. The spoofer obviously knows the number of coins in his hand (well, you would think that would be the case) and can therefore narrow down the number of possibilities.

In our example, the gentlemen is holding 2 coins, thus meaning minimum call would logically be 2, maximum 17. However spoofers do not call the actual numbers, but special "calls" that represent the numbers between 0 & 27. In our example our spoofer thinks the total is 12, and barks the appropriate call, 'IMPERIAL.' Calls proceed in a clockwise direction, each spoofer making his unique call until all members of the school have called.

The gentlemen who called first now opens his hand to reveal his (2) coins. The 5 other members follow suit & the total is added up. In this example, the aggregate total of coins held by all 6 spoofers was 12, IMPERIAL was the winning call. Our first caller skillfully assessed the correct total & leaves the school. The other 5 spoofers repeat the process. The first spoofer out of the school is obliged to order drinks for the others.

The process of elimination is repeated until 1 spoofer is left. This winning spoofer is honoured to pay for the round of drinks.

Spoofing Conventions

Although Spoof is a disciplined sport, there are no rules, only CONVENTIONS. These conventions cover all facets of the noble game.

Illegal calls are a thorny issue. Many illegal or impossible calls can be made, particularly when it comes down to the last 2 spoofers in a round. Something as stupid as calling TITANIC when holding DIRTY DIGIT in a school of 2, not mathematically possible and thus illegal.

Then there is the subject of gloating. Any display of delight following a successful call and exit from the school are an infraction of the rules and subject to a fine. Usually a round of drinks (port, baileys, or alien snot).

Duplicating calls is another pitfall, as detailed above, each player must make a unique call. Each spoofer has 3 attempts to call a unique number otherwise a fine will be administered.

Refusing to call, abusing the chairman, eating during a school when playing, failing to order the round of drinks, and attempting to leave the game to 'go back to work' having lost the previous school are all rules infractions and thus finable. Ask a certain ex-British Airways station manager about this rule (delayed take off, disciplinary action - you guess the rest).

Here we delve into the darker side of spoof. They have been rumours surrounding a "Spoofers Curse." More on these episodes later.

The so called Hollywood rules apply in both championships and regular play:

The Hollywood Rules

Bid (Milan) Spoof

From the Milan School, thanks to David Semeria.

All the players start off with 0-3 coins in the right hand, as usual. He who was 'crap' (i.e. the first player out from the previous game) starts off with the first call (bid). Here we immediately encounter the key difference between Standard and Bid (Milan Rules) Spoof. The aim of this game is not to guess the total number of coins.

In Bid Spoof the aim of the game, to put it simply, is merely to stay in the game. Hence the first player could, and very often does, start with a 'one' call. The next player (the direction is decided by the first player and can vary from round to round) now has a choice: he can RAISE the call (for example by saying 'two' or 'three') or he can CALL his opponent, which he does by opening his right hand. Once a player is called, all the other players also open their hands and the coins are counted. If there are AT LEAST as many coins as the called player said there were, then the caller loses. Alternatively, if the total coins are less than the bid then it is the called player who loses. A losing player loses a coin. If he had only one coin left then he's out of the game.

A round proceeds with increasing bids until someone is called. After someone loses a coin, a new round starts with the total coin count reduced by one. The new round is initiated by whoever lost a coin in the preceding round. When all the players apart from one are out, then the remaining player is the winner and pockets the large wad of notes in the centre of the table.

That is the basic outline of the game, but to fully enjoy Bid (Milan Rules) Spoof you must be aware of the three other calls:

The 'Cliff' call: This is an extremely dangerous / useful call. When a player calls Cliff he is saying that he thinks the preceding call (bid) is EXACTLY equal to the total coin count. If he is wrong he loses a coin, as usual. But if he is right, he WINS a coin. This is the only way a player can increase his coin count and is the main reason end games can last a long time. It is also the basis for some amazing come-backs. Whoever called Cliff, win or lose, starts the bidding in the next round (unless he got it wrong, only had one coin, and is now out). Cliff is generally used when there are a small number of coins on the table, and hence the odds of being wrong are less enormous. There, however, some persistent Cliffers, who tend to drink a lot, call Cliff on totals like '18' and go home with no money.

The 'Spoof' call. Largely superceded by the Cliff call, the Spoof call is now used mainly for defensive purposes. You would say Spoof if you thought the maximum number of coins was being held. For example, in a game with 4 players all with 3 coins the maximum would be 12. If someone called (bid) 12 to you then you obviously can't say 13, but believing there are actually 12 you don't want to call him either. In the this case you would say "Spoof", meaning "they're all there'. If indeed they are all there, then the round is a DRAW, nobody loses a coin, whereas if you're wrong then you lose a coin. The Spoof call is now rarely used because, as in the preceding example, if you thought the preceding call was EXACTLY right you would say Cliff instead of Spoof, because if you're right with Cliff you win one rather than it being a draw. So when is Spoof used?

Spoof can be used by cunning players to prevent the next player making a Cliff call. Let's take the above example, instead of saying 12, and thereby leaving the Cliff call open to you, the player before you can say Spoof. He, too, believes they're all there but he can't Cliff it because the bid to him was not 12. By saying Spoof he can at least stop you from winning a coin. Always assuming they were all there. Like Cliff, whoever called Spoof starts the next round, if they're still in.

The 'Zero' call. Only for special occasions. If you start a round by saying Zero, then everyone must automatically open they're hands. If there are no coins out, then everyone apart from you loses a coin. If there are one or more coins then you lose coin. All most exclusively used in one on one end games, when there aren't many coins.

Subscribe here! subscribe unsubscribe